Introducing Squeez Bacon: A real, actual product that consists of partially reconstituted bacon made into an easy-to-spread paste.
Developed in Sweden after World War II by a particularly creative chef looking for a new way to process bacon, Squeez Bacon is now available in the U.S.
According to its advertising, "Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!" Slop some on a burger or use it to flavor your lemonade, no big deal.
Mike's Thoughts: Anyone else amazed that Squeez Bacon was invented in Sweden? Seems like that should have been an American invention, doesn't it?
Lawrence Yong of Los Angeles made it on to the University of Michigan waitlist for the fall semester but decided to take a gamble and present this video of him singing an acapella version of the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back" to try and gain admission.
The crazy part?
Yong will be touring as the 5th member of the Jackson 5 during his fall break from University of Michigan.
(Newser) – An apparent act of vigilante justice is going viral on YouTube and sparking a debate over the proper punishment for statutory rape, Huffington Post reports. In the video, a supposed dad spanks the adult boyfriend of his young daughter for having had sex with her. "You got lucky, James," the dad says. "You could have had rape charges or an ass-kicking." Being spanked, the victim cries, "Enough dude! I ain't even gonna be able to sit, dude!" Says the dad: "Well, that's what Chelsea got." Some YouTube commenters say the punishment was just, while others argue the father should still go to police.
Mike's Thoughts: Of all the weird stories I've seen lately, this might be the weirdest.
My understanding (and I'm no attorney but) of the term "statutory rape" is that it's defined as sex with a person under the age of 18 by a person over the age of 18. It can (but doesn't necessarily HAVE to) mean that the sex wasn't consensual.
At this point, the story doesn't really say whether it was consensual or not. That would seem to be somewhat important, right?
And who in the hell considers spanking a grown man adequate punishment for anything?
Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have officially called it quits. The couple made the announcement through a release from Depp's publicist today (Tuesday), saying that they "have amicably separated," and requesting that people "respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children." Depp and Paradis had been together since 1998 and have two children, but had been living apart since January.
Mike's Thoughts: According to sources, it was Vanessa Paradis who was largely behind the separation. Apparently she finally got tired of Johnny stealing her mascara. And like the rest of the world, she also wasn't able to forgive Depp for appearing in the box office disaster "The Tourist" with Angelina Jolie.
(Newser) – A former airport security guard and target of an aggressive pat down at a Florida airport has been busted for groping a TSA manager as she demonstrated how not to search a passenger. The arrested woman, who was flying from Southwest Florida International Airport to her brother's funeral in Ohio, complained about "intrusive touching of her genitals and breasts" by a TSA agent, said her attorney. Carol Price, 59, complained to the guard's supervisor—her own former boss when she worked at the same airport—then grabbed the supervisor's crotch to demonstrate what had just happened to her, reports ABC News. Price was charged with misdemeanor battery.
According to the police report, Price "did intentionally and without consent grab the victim and slide her hands into the crotch area" of her former boss. "She doesn't feel like she's done anything wrong, and I agree with her," said Price's attorney. "We hope to get a not guilty verdict and have her named cleared. She did not touch the supervisor as intrusively as she was touched." The initial pat down, the TSA insists, was conducted "correctly in accordance with our procedures," the agency said in a statement to WZVN-TV.
Mike's Thoughts: That sound you're hearing is your irony alarm going off......again.
The West Liberty-Salem (West Liberty, Ohio) athletic director said he had spent the entire day taking messages for the school's girls track and field coach Ann Vogel, mother of new national celebrity Meghan Vogel.
He wasn't complaining.
If you haven't heard or seen by now – it's gone ultra viral for good reason – junior Meghan Vogel picked up a fallen and weary 3,200-meter runner and dragged her across the finish line in Saturday's Ohio Division III state championship at Ohio State University.